Friday, September 26, 2008

Out of the mouths of babes....

Ok, no insight here, no big revelation that God has shown me. No big lesson that I have learned the hard way....just a post of laughs!!

Last night we were getting ready for our garage sale. (yes, we decided to have a garage sale on Tuesday for this Friday and Saturday--love when we do that) Anyway, Kam and Kade wanted to come out to my house to see the new kitty. (we are the dumping ground for stray animals in these parts)

So, we went to pick up Kensey Rae from school, and head out to see Isabellla the kitty. Kam brought along a book of all of his friends from preschool. (such a great in a ziploc bag bound together with the three rings so it is a "book")

Well, while we were waiting for Kensey Rae- we looked at the pictures. I asked Kam, "which one is your friend?" He replied, "aunt jen jen, they are all my friends!" I said, "well, which one do you like the most--like your best buddy kind of thing?" While he was thinking Kade pipes up, "Jen Jen, I like the girls. I like to kiss the girls" He is 2 1/2. I said, "Kade, you kiss the girls?" He smiles from ear to ear (you just have to see that smile) anyway, he says, "Jen Jen, I love to kiss girls" I was cracking up.

He proceeds to show me how he kisses the girls. Of course, he has never actually kissed a girl except for his momma, nannas, and aunties and a few cousins here and there, but to hear him talk...... So it starts early, the over exaggerating of "how many girls you have kissed"...hope he doesn't take up fishing..I hear those stories get carried away too!!

So, of course I was curious. "Kam, do you like to kiss girls?" I couldn't wait to hear the answer. Kam doesn't think girls can do anything. He is basically a male chauvinist pig. (But a darn cute one!) I waited for the answer. "Jen Jen I will never kiss girls, I don't like girls, they are gross. I guess I would have to kiss a boy"
Well, I had my answer. :~) BUT, then he says.."I like Izzie's curls".....ahhhh, very reluctantly my little nephew is discovering, girls aren't quite as gross as he first thought.

Have a good one!


Thursday, September 25, 2008

I proudly display my button...

The last few Mondays I have worn my button with Cody's football picture on it. I wear it proudly. Although, he looks so mean and tough in it, and of course I know the truth, he is a Momma's boy. Don't tell him I told you, but he cuddles with me nightly and gives me a sweet kiss when he goes to bed. (I am wondering if MU offers dorms for parents to move in with their kids???Go Tigers!) :~)

Back to the button...

I wear it with the sense of pride that every parent has for their kids. You see, my kid is an overcomer. He was diagnosed 3 1/2 years ago with Growth Hormone Deficiency. He has been one of the smallest kids in his class since he was 7 years old. When he was 11 1/2 he weighed in at 62 pounds and 4'5". He is now nearly 15 (October 1) and weighs in at 106 and 5'4". I think with his pads he hit 110...HOLY COW bring on the party! He has never let that stop his desire to do anything. He loved football too much to believe the people along the way who thought he wasn't big enough, fast enough, able to catch a pass and gain enough yards, big enough to stop the other team....whatever it was, he didn't buy it. I am so thankful that didn't buy into the lie.

He believes more in himself than some of the people he has come into contact with along his journey. He is made of steel. Love that kid. Anyway, I wear this button to shout to the world, THIS IS MY KID AND I AM SOOOOO PROUD, IN LOVE WITH, ADORE, CHERISH, BELIEVE IN, and TOTALLY LAY CLAIM TO...this is MY KID!. A couple of people have made comments about my button. It always seems to get noticed. I can't understand it with me being so shy and all. :~)

Which leads me to the point....are you wearing God's button? If you are a God lovin, Bible Readin', Church goin' Christian, you my friend are wearing the button. We must be so aware that every minute of everyday our button is being viewed by so many, some who appreciate it and admire it, and others who want to see WHY you are wearing the button. Without grace we don't deserve to wear the button, but there is no greater truth than the fact that we are worthy of wearing the button. Worthy because of what Jesus did on that cross. Put on your button friends. We have something to be in awe about...DISPLAY IT and be accountable for it!

My hope and prayer is that while God wears his button of this girl, and let me tell you God is wearing our button. He is so in love with us. He adores us and cherishes us because we are wonderfully made (Psalm 139) If he can wear my button--from the girl who has messed up more times than she cares to count, and who has been pulled out of the pit more than she cares to count, and has asked for second, third, fourth etc. chances....he will wear your button too. All you have to do is ask Him.

There were several times that I believed the lie that I wasn't worthy to wear God's button, nor was I worthy enough to ask Him to wear mine. I bought into the lie. I wish I had the mindset Cody has, but I really don't. I not only bought into the lie, but tried to sell it too. My eyes were opened a few years ago that my life has been redeemed, I am not my mistakes of the past, but those mistakes I made have also made me grow into the person I am today. God is incapable of lying. His word says that All have fallen short (Romans 6:23)..and friends, we are the ALL, but His word also says, WHILE we were stil sinners Christ died for us. He knew how we were and he still proudly displayed your button. You are worthy. Never buy into the lie that you are not worthy! EVERY drop of blood on that cross screams, YOU ARE WORTHY...NOT because of who we are, but because of who HE is! Amen and Amen.

Well, I guess I need to go polish my button!


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Gotta love the time to think while driving....

I drove down to my sister's house tonight. Bryce has class on Tuesday nights and so it is a great time to be Aunt Jen Jen, but also to give my sister some much needed adult conversation. Jo came over tonight too, she turned 25 yesterday and might I add has grown in wisdom overnight! :~)

On the way home, Kensey Rae fell asleep which left me and the radio. I was listening to my beloved K-LOVE radio station and praising the Lord through song....granted those of you who know me well, know that my singing will only be considered praise when I enter heaven's gates. However, tonight, as the lightening was striking all around me I just relished in the power of my God. How amazing He is-how thankful that I have been forgiven--and simply put I just stand in awe of Him.

How appropriate it is to sing I will praise you in this storm as a storm rolls in. So often in my life I have cursed the storm..(both life storms and the actual send me to my basement storms) :~) I hated going through the storms of life, they can be so dark and scary. When you are in the midst of one, you feel alone, terrified, and worn out! There is no way that I would have the faith I have today if I had not weathered some of those storms. There is no way I would be able to have grown on my own the way the storm forced me to grow. I am just too lazy to do that.

I have to remind myself that storms are opportunities to relinquish my power and authority and to come under the grace and protection of my Lord. My dear friends, there is no better shelter.

So, Lord, I will praise you in the storm.....forever and always. However, if it brings thunder and lightening I might possibly be praising you in the basement with my flashlight and bottled water. Yes, I am that kind of pansy..


So Behind the Times.....

I am doing a little work on my blog...thanks to my darling niece whom I am sure is pulling her hair out teaching me!! :~)

Please bare with me....

Thursday, September 4, 2008

The Battlefield of the Mind....

I went to an additional Bible Study last night....yes that makes two this week. I should probably find another one for tonight to go to....

Hello, my name is Jennifer and I am a sinner. (and apparently a slow learner as well) :~)

So, I am joining this Bible Study group for the first time. This group of ladies is from the Rosendale Christian Church and for the most part a group of ladies who are somewhat reserved. You can imagine their shock when I came onto the scene. Bless their hearts. I even said, "Lord, shut my mouth tonight, I haven't even read the material they are talking about, sit me down and shut me up."

This is the part that I say, "HELLO GOD DID YOU NOT HEAR ME LAST NIGHT??" :~)

I talked- big shocker I know. Why do I talk so much? Now if you can answer that question there is about 25 teachers or so that would love to be let in on the answer!

Who could not talk about this though, seriously? The Battlefield of the Mind.
Buckle your seatbelts cause I have some things to say. :)

We were discussing how in order to change your life you have to change the way you think. How do you change the way you think? You have to think God's Way. How does one think God's way? They must be filled with God..bring on the Holy Spirit. How does one receive the Holy Spirit? They must ask Jesus to be Lord and Savior of their life by believing that He died on the cross and rose again. What in addition to the Holy Spirit must we need to do? WE NEED TO READ GOD'S WORD. Period. But we also need to practice what He teaches.

We need to be filled with the Spirit and we need to know and practice God's Word.

We went on to discuss the Israelites and forgive me for my frankness, but geez louise, could they be any more negative and forgetful? As one of my fellow sisters in Christ said, "good grief they witnessed the miracles for themselves with their own eyes-they didn't read about the Red Sea parting, they watched it" I sat there agreeing, Yah, what a bunch of idiots. (See Richard is rubbing off on me)

Then it hit me. (This part I did share a little, but I was somewhat reserved cause, it was my first time and all) :)Are we not just like them? Doesn't God deliver us from troubles, answer our prayers, save our necks over and over again? And uh, don't we just forget about it as time goes on?

Don't you know someone who may have been healed from something such as cancer, heart problems, or a serious illness? I mean don't we all know someone, or maybe we are that someone. Have we not witnessed miracle after miracle and yet we are luke warm in our faith? WE doubt what God can do. Give me a break. What about when a loved one who has a heart of stone actually realize that their Jesus loves them and they completely change their life. Is that not a miracle? What about when a tornado picks up your friend's house and tears it apart and throws them yards and yards from the house, but spares their life. How could you not praise our God? The biggest miracle I have ever witnessed is the birth of my own children. My goodness, I assisted God with that miracle. (and let me tell you I paid my dues) :~)

God is all around us. He delivers us daily. We should be on fire! We should want to tell everyone about our God!!!

Like this morning, Cody was delivered. He had no idea that on the fourth time I went in to wake him up that his very life was in danger. God saved him. Did he rejoice? I will have to ask him that later...:~)

My point is that we have witnessed miracles. Maybe we didn't see the Red Sea part, but I had a friend (Tausha) who beat cancer. A cancer that had a grim diagnosis. God was bigger than that diagnosis. She wasn't suppose to have kids....and now she has two. I watched a grown man who I can honestly say that I have prayed for-for at least 15 years, come to Christ. Ask Heather and David if they believe in miracles. Ask Teri if she believes God has a purpose for her life-apparently-He picked her up out of the rubble that was once her house, and planted her firmly on the ground. Ask my siblings, our Dad found his way back to the Lord months before he passed. Ask me, if there was ever a person who lived in the pit of life, it was me. He has taken a terrified little girl and turned her into....ok, never mind, bad example..but you get what I am saying. :~)

WE have a lot to get excited about! Ya know, it has been said that a new Chrisitan should be put in a closet and locked up until their newness and excitement wears off and they are bearable to be around...well I say let them out! Goodness, pass some of that excitement around. Our God reigns! He LIVES! He is GREATER than this world! PEOPLE-IT GETS BETTER THAN THIS-PRAISE GOD!!

Why do we stay in the wilderness wondering around?

The Isaraelites didn't make good time on their journey. (they apparently weren't riding with a guy like Richard, anyway..) They stretched out a 11-14 day trip into 40 years. They were lost in their own world of negativity and apparently had forgotten what God had already done for them and had promised to do for them.

We cannot forget what God has promised us. He nailed down that promise right through the palm of Jesus' hands. He loves us more than we can imagine. He is willing and capable of doing great things. He is bigger than any disease, any problem, any you know that? I don't mean do you know it, I mean do you believe it? Believe it my dear friends. Let that sink into your hearts, and let it fill your mind!

Change your way of thinkin' cause we don't have time for stinkin' thinkin'-we just don't. The time is near and it is now. Dust yourself off, ask for a fresh dose of the Holy Spirit, read His word, and just do it. The battle is on with Satan....we win in the end no doubt....but right now, it is the Battlefield of the Mind.....


Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The issue with security...

My latest Bible Study has me thinking...lots of thinking. My small group is doing the study, No other gods, and it has been very thought provoking. Our group met last night and boy did I have a million questions to throw out there. (I know deep down they love it when I come to Bible study with my questions highlighted) :~)

Did you know you can make fear a god? Well, actually the author wrote that fear is a symptom of a god. (lower case g as in not our GOD, but a god- we had some confusion about that last night) :~)

I have lived in fear for most of my life. In fact, I think I have struggled with security all of my life. I wish I could pin point a time when that lack of security actually started, but I can't. I even recall taking my little sister who was probably 2 at the time, and I was probably around 7-8 and wrapping her up in my blanket and saying, "sissy you are safe in here"--very odd. I had all kinds of love around me when I was growing up, so when did the insecurity set in?

I am one of those book readers that has a library of "self help" books all written by Christian authors. I mean seriously, it is ridiculous. I have a zillion books, although I have started in the last year giving them away. They feel more like "dead weight" than they do helpful at this point. However, the common theme is the same. Women in general have security issues. We want to feel safe. I think sometimes the desire to feel safe is uniquely blended with love. Somehow we began to equate love and security. Our group last night had the same issues. What's funny, is that I thought I was alone in that pit. Apparently, I have lots of company.

I think my insecurity has brought on decisions in my life that I have been blessed by and decisions that have taken me down the path of "consequences"--love that word. Anyway, it hit me last night that my problem with security is that as an adult I try to "create" security for my family.

What on earth do I mean by that?

Enter issue #2...perfectionist. This is a unique trait that I directly inherited from my Father's side of the family. One grandma's house we could blow up eggs in the microwave to "see what would happen" and the other grandma's house we took our shoes off at the door...get the picture? Guess which side was fun...and now guess which side I take after. (my poor children and husband) :~)

Anyway back to my flaws.

For me, the sense of security that I so desire to give to my kids has this image with it. Follow me here and put on your boots, it is about to get deep. This image of security has a mother who does everything..PTO,church ministries,community events,is the best daughter, is the best friend, is the best wife, is the best mother, is the best cook, creates the best home...etc....Why does that look safe to me? I don't know. But the idea here is that "I am in control." My intentions were so good. I wanted to create a safe environment. I think most Mom's feel this way. There were/are times I would love on my kids so much during the day that they went to bed wet from my kisses. I am a touchy feely kind of person. I would imagine I tell my kids I love them at least 10-15 times a day. I want them to KNOW that they are loved and safe! Richard and I probably talk on the phone an average of three times a day during our "working hours" :~) and we always end the conversation with "I love you." Richard says to me everyday.."have I told you how much I love you today?"

A person with that, should feel loved and safe. Right?

Over the last few months with last night being the cherry on the top, I realized truth. The truth is that my Lord Jesus Christ is my security. He is unchanging. He loves me for the person I am with my flaws, my yuck, my disappointments, my "issues", my imperfect way of life, He just loves me.

He isn't going to look at me and say, "you aren't good enough" He isn't going to say to me, "I am leaving because I just don't love you anymore". He isn't going to look at me and think "what a disappointment you are" cause He knows my heart and my intentions. He isn't going to say I will love you more if you accomplish....I am safe in His arms and that the picture of security is that He has my life, and I don't have to manipulate it, I don't have to worry about it, I just have to surrender to it.

(I surrender all begins to play in the background of this blog) :~)

What a relief! I can tell you that God isn't going to just "release me of my ways", I am going to have to walk through this one. I am going to have to "weather the storm" of life and learn this one with Him by my side. But the good news is that I understand His language and I see His footprints.

He has gently reminded me that my kids know that I adore them. He has gently reminded me that my husband is a good man and is not going to leave. He has not quite as gently--reminded me that He is in control and that He is God, not me. (Really??) :~)

Satan's plan to destroy me through my lack of security is over. When 1 Peter 5:8 says he roams around like a lion looking for something or SOMEONE to devour, I know that I am protected. I choose Jesus's security. I choose the cross. I choose the truth that fear and worry no longer control me, they no longer are welcome at my table.

I also know that there will be times when it feels like my security is GONE with the wind..and those are the times that I will be reminded (by some of you I know) that my security is not of this world, it is in my God.

Does anybody need a book on..let's see...on losing weight, saving money, of course books on safe and security, on mariage, on parenting....on how to study your bible (my personal fave, let me save you $12.95--do you want to know how to study your Bible???? it up and read it) :~)