Saturday, October 23, 2010

Should I introduce myself again?

It's been nearly 7 months since my last post.

I would like to say that we have been just hanging out laying around- relaxing--nothing much going on, but that my friends would be a downright lie. So much has happened that I can barely focus on what and when and where!

Many of you already know that Cody was involved in a horrible accident at the Lake of the Ozarks on July 3. We had gone to the lake with some of our best friends and we went with the intention of some R&R not a helicopter ride for one.

Cody was life flighted from the LOTO to Children's Mercy Hospital and underwent about 5 hours of brain surgery to repair a skull fracture that also tore the membrane around the brain. Richard and I were unable to ride in the helicopter, we had to drive the ridiculous 3 hour drive back to Kansas City not really knowing the status of our boy.

You learn a lot about yourself when you face something like that. I found that I need a lot of work, A lot.

I was living on the power of prayer, my faith in my Lord and Savior, and coffee. It wasn't the actual crisis that I found I needed th work. I knew who to turn to, I knew where my strength needed to come from, and I knew that Jesus was with me the entire time. It was after, it is now.

I really wanted to get depressed. I fought it with everything I had-somedays I beat it and others it conquered my mind. I hurt so bad for Cody. I knew his dreams of having an awesome Junior football season were nothing more than a wish and dream. I knew we should focus on the fact that Cody had a miracle healing, and yet I couldn't get past what he had to give up, and what we had to watch him give up.

People would say to me that we should just be happy is alive. Well, that's a given, of course we were thrilled and we praised God for that, but we still had this pile of "stuff" we needed to deal with. A big pile of disappointment. Cody has handled it better than I have.

The first home game I cried like a baby. Seriously, I finally had to tell myself to grow up. I was somewhat crying happy tears that he was alive and welland wearing that jersey, and somewhat crying because he wasn't playing.

My point is this, that with both situations I had to take them to the Lord and lay them at his feet. It's just too much for me to handle.

I am learning that something, are more of a minute by minute, hour by hour, and now a day by day thing. We weren't designed to carry the load. Not even the not so heavy ones.