Every mother understands.....

Last night, I had on my list a million things to do. You know the list...the one where even when you did something that you didn't originally have on the list- you put on the list- just so you can have the joy of marking it off...yah, that list.

I walk in the door and my lovely pooch has decided that after years of not claiming that he is a dog....has apparently decided to embrace the idea and dig through the trash can. It was lovely and unexpected and full of coffee grounds on top. Isn't that just precious?

I started a load of laundry, which by the way is so frustrating. Where does the laundry come from- and why do my children think that they need their pjs washed nightly? Ok, focus Jen focus. Well, I had a terrible time staying on task- so I texted a couple of friends and said-"we must walk the gravel"- the sunshine was calling my name. I walked over to a friend's house...not that i am counting but it was 1.4 miles there...:) and then Joan tried to kill me by thinking we should tackel some Mountain..yes, there are mountains in Missouri-or at least large hills. When I got home, I was so beat and my feet hurt so bad...yet there was my list.

I took a shower and while in there, worked out in my mind how I would get everything done. I would get supper on the grill, change out the laundry, run the vaccum--get my grocery list for Easter ready, fold a load of clothes, pay some bills, and clean the bathroom...finish dinner and get the dishes done and be in bed by 10:30- not a minute later.

As I was getting out of the shower, the phone was ringing--it was my Mom. Cindy has issues with locking her keys in the car. Sometimes, she has been known to do this twice in one day...She was at Sam's club and apparently had done it again. So, I headed to her house to get her spare and then on to Sam's.

It was so nice out that a girl must do what a girl must do....I rolled down the windows (with wet hair mind you) and blasted my radio and sang my heart out down I29. It took me back to being 16 and cruising around with friends and then ending the evening sitting on tailgates at Hardees parking lot. Except I was now in a minivan, wet hair, no make up, and I would sit at Sam's Club.

I arrive at Sam's to find my mom close to being escorted out of Sam's club because she had been there for years....(kidding Mom)I dropped off the key, and headed back home...Let the cruising resume! Wahooooo!

Arrived at home, made some shrimp stir fry on the grill...did put another load of laundry in....and skipped the rest. I felt like throwing in the towel....but then realized that would just create more laundry- so I just turned the list upside down...and ignored it....until today.

Blessings-
Jen

Enjoying the Sunshine....from a windowless office

I wish I had a window in my office.

I stay tucked away in my office most of the day- really never knowing what it is doing outside-somedays this is good- others- I am totally missing out.

Today would be the "missing out."

I remember days like this- the first days of spring....the reminder that summer is around the corner- which meant NO SCHOOL...the excitement of wearing shorts to school, the Schwan man coming to both of my Grandma's houses. Our Grandma had the ice cream yummies and our Granny had chicken nuggets and corn dogs. Ahhhhh.....summer.

My cousin who is only 18 months younger than me would sit on top of the swingset slurping our ice cream and dreaming what our playhouse would be next. Jeff always wanted to make it a law office and I wanted to make it a home. We had the playhouse of all playhouses at our Grandparents farm. We mistakenly thought that a shed that was delivered from King City Lumber was our playhouse. It was for the farm. However, we had a Grandpa with a heart the size of Texas, who I think in a week, had another one delivered just for his grandkids cause he felt so bad that our little spirits were crushed. It took us about an hour to have that shed filled up with toys and ideas. Ahhhhh, summer.

I can still remember the wind in my face as we raced up and down that gravel road on our four wheelers and go-karts. The dust flying as we blazed through the farm, Grandpa yelling to SLOW DOWN, and the smell of Grandma's marigolds (and cows.)

Last week, our first real spring day, my kids loaded up on their four wheelers and headed out with the neighbors. As they pulled out and headed to the creek...I heard it....the laughter, saw the dust cloud (ok, actually it was mud flying, don't ruin my moment) and smelled the spring in the air. I took it all in. God's grace allowed me to live through the driving the four wheeler years, and now I get to experience it again-through my kids. I just stood there, with a few tears in my eyes- and thought "wow" and then I thought "oh my gosh,they are going to be a muddy mess" :)

I am a guessin' that tonight, I will hear the four wheelers, the laughter, and get to smell the country air. And if I am really lucky......God will allow me to recall a memory or two.

Blessings,
Jen

....................and yes Kensey Rae you can wear capris.....*rolling eyes* :))

Some roundtable talk....

Most days we have supper together. It is something that Richard and I have always deemed important. I am sure I read somewhere that if you have supper together your kids will be smart or stay drug free or that you receive some award for mother of the year....but it's important to us and for sure it is a good time.

Tonight I tried a new recipe. Well, since I joined Weight Watchers, I have a lot of new recipes. Tonight was Skinny Mini Meatloafs. Yes, you read that right. Unfortunately, they do not make you thin, nor can you eat a dozen of them just because they are low in points. I thought about writing WW and complaining, but chose not to. :)

Tonight was no different than any other night, Cody didn't get home from FFA until 7:30 so we held dinner for him. Richard and Kensey Rae were practicing softball in the front yard. (that will be another story for another time) Where was I? I was cooking. Duh. :)

We sit down and Richard asked Cody to bless the food. My kids usually say the blessing, as Richard thinks it is important for them to "hear" themselves pray. I kinda think it is all about that Richard has used up his word quota for the day at work. Whatever, it works for us.

Our usual dinner entertainment is Kensey Rae. She tells one story after another- and somehow is the first one done eating most nights. I honestly think it is that we sit stunned that a human being can talk so fast and for so long about.....nothing. We have the typical glance around the table as if it is code for "does she ever come up for air?" But, I will say we laugh ourselves to the point of no return.

Tonight she started in on something that happened at school and somehow we ended up with her crazy dream. Now, if dreams truly only go for 15 seconds-than Houston we have a problem, cause this girl talked about her dream (according to Cody) for 11 minutes and 34 seconds. The thing was, we didn't know she had switched from real life to the dream. I felt like we were in the middle of another Dallas episode and JR wasn't really shot. I finally say, "Wait Wait Wait, what happened?" and she proceeds to tell me and Cody says, "Kens, what are you talking about?" Kensey lets out an irritated sigh, "my dream Cody!" and we are like, "Your Dream?"

*shaking head*

There is only one Kensey Rae, and she is ours. You can borrow her from time to time to just light up your world, but you have to give her back..(you may want to anyway) If I start drinking coffee at night, she is the reason, I need to be fully alert to listen to her stories.

Night All-

Blessings,
Jen

What a week.....

I am having one of those mornings where you would rather just sleep and forget that Wal-Mart needs to be visited and pretend Sam's Club never existed. I am worn out. I am such a pansy. I worked four days this week, but I did work 41 hours in those 4 days. Give me something, here....please? Throw in a board meeting, a dodgeball tournament, a weight watcher meeting, and an entire evening devoted to cleaning the house. I told Richard that I am ready to win the lottery, he suggested in order to do that, we needed to play. Darn.

The alarm has gone off three mornings at 4:45 am. I believe that is just wrong, and I demand to know who thinks my husband needs to get up at that time. I detest mornings. I am a night owl, always have been. I can do my best projects when the sun starts to go down. I have tried to change that, but unfortunately I wake up rather hateful each morning and asking forgiveness from loved ones all before the sun decides to shine.

Last week, I was on the treadmill each morning by 5:30, this week, I stared at it at 5:30. Darn again. I can find more excuses to not get on that dreadmill, and they flow through my brain starting everyday about 3:00- which happens to be the time I leave work.

So this morning, I am just asking God, why in the world am I so tired???? Then it hit me......I haven't made a lot of time for Him this week. The random Bible verse, the ongoing prayer for dear friends in their child's health crisis, but not really time for Him. Ahhhhh, yes, where has my devotional time been this week? My house is clean, laundry is done, my desk at work looks rather amazing....and yet...once again, I do not have it all together.

I am a firm believer that if I do not spend time with my God, than it may be a bad idea to spend time with me. I know in my heart He is a priority, yet my actions this week just didn't support that theory.

I am regrouping today. Before I head to Wal-Mart and Sam's and by the hospital to see a friend.....I have a date with my Lord. Hope He likes coffee that has been reheated......

Blessings,
Jen

**I was down 4.2 pounds at WW this week** yahoooo! :)

Remember me?

So, I am home today with a sick kid. Poor Cody- he is on day 4 of some crazy virus that has decided to take up residence on his head. Yes, I said "on" as in he is experiencing the worst headache he says he has ever had. Poor thing.

I stayed home today with him. It somewhat takes me back to the days when he really "needed" me. Now, I think he still needs me, not sure he realizes he still needs me, but he does. He's 16 now, somewhat a grown-up, somewhat a kid, basically the way I feel.

This grown-up stuff can just sometimes be overwhelming, can't it? I had to laugh so hard this morning, because apparently I don't have the grown up thing down yet either. I was making my bed and puttiing some laundry away and on my dresser is every book I am currently reading. (why do i start so many??)

Here's the list-

on top is the new book by Beth Moore....So Long Insecurity-you've been a bad friend to us---what a great book...chapter 7 was a little tough, it was somewhat like looking in the mirror-naked. YIKES! But Chapter 8 was starting to show God's plan and how it doesn't include insecurity. Pick up a copy- you will be blessed.

Dave Ramsey- Financial Peace Revised--ok, ok, I could have saved 20 dollars and not bought the book, but it was January and you are suppose to get things going in January-or at least I think you are-- It's a good book too--

Having a Mary Spirit-this is the Bible Study we are doing for a women's group at church- I have basically failed, I am a Martha-dang. I know I am, I have tried to change but barely get the M out and it changes from MMMMMary to MMMMMMMartha. God shakes his head, I put my head down....and move on to the next chapter. It's been good to know that I am not alone- apparently Martha is as popular as the name- Jennifer....

Finally some fun reading- a Karen Kingsbury book--second book of the First Born series--I am suppose to be done with it because I borrowed it from a friend who was going to loan it to another friend,so let's keep it quiet that it has a little dust on it.

So on those days when I ask my children, "why don't you ever learn?" Probably the most appropriate response should be, "cause you don't" but if they did that....they would be grounded and get to see first hand why I don't have it all together.....for a very long time.

I promised Kensey Rae I would make cinnamon rolls for her today and the bus will be here in a few short hours, so I better make good on my promise.

I've missed blogging and most likely the only person who will read this will be my Mom. But hey, she won't answer her phone today, so I guess at least she will know that her baby girl made her bed.

Blessings,
Jen

Can I get a do over??

Ok Ok, so I am a fresh new notebook kinda girl.. I know I know.

I need to start all over again. Bummer on my progress, but Yeah that I get a fresh new notebook each day- God willing!

I started the new Beth Moore study, "Esther", last night with a group of ladies that I have traveled with on my spiritual journey for years! Each time I attend one of her studies I just get super excited!

However, last night it was more of a conviction than anything. I just want to know Him more and more, yet my priorities always put Him way down on the list. WHY?? It is so frustrating. Paul and I are on the same page--Romans 7 For I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not practice what I want to do, but I do what I hate. I think the Amen I heard was from God. Sorry Lord. Then in Romans 8 the idea is to walk in the spirit. Why oh Why can I not do that?

I have become this worrier. I think my Granny in heaven is the only one who thrilled that I am carrying on that particular family tradition. While I worry I quote 1 Peter 5:6 Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God so that He may exalt you in due time casting all your cares upon Him because He cares for you. As I recite this to myself and to my Lord-He lovingly tells me to go and grab a dictionary so that I can understand what HUMBLE means and CASTING ALL YOUR CARES, and the lovely HE CARES FOR YOU (me) :) What is my problem?

So back to Bible Study...I sat there with my brand new highlighter and the new sharpie pen (you need one, trust me) with my bottle of water-quite certain that as organized as I was that God would surely speak to me. I was ready to hear Him. I had everything ready. Good grief, I mean brand new pens! I sat intently to what Beth had to say. As I sat there I thought, good grief, I am not even worthy to be in my Lord's house with all my yuck. I was waiting for something inspiring, something that would change my life... I waited....and then my dear friend leans back and whispers in my ear.. "I am such a loser"...."did you say you are a loser or that I am a loser or that we are losers??" Well, at least I am not alone. :) Let me back up on this one. This friend of mine- well we have kindered spirits-I realize this may be a bad thing- but she has her new "study area" ready in her bedroom, bought her new pens, and brought a Starbucks--yep she was desiring a word from the Lord too. Only God could bring two women like that together....and I am sure He laughed while He did it too! Anyway..


My prayer is that I will learn to love me, learn that I should love being a woman, learn to love that all of my mistakes and shortcomings are an opportunity for my testimony to grow, for my witness to give Glory, learn that my mistakes in life can bring God glory, learn that the laundry piled up is proof that I have healthy active kids, learn that the dinner I prepare each night is for my family is such an honor,(I am struggling how to glorify God at Wal-Mart, but hey, I am hoping to learn that too) to learn that my God desires ALL of me, to learn that friends like I have are a treasure, to learn that God loves me despite my yuck, and to learn that worrying is a waste of time and energy, to learn that an attitude of gratitude is not such a long shot, and to learn that forgiven means.....you are forgiven.

Wow, sounds like I need another pen and several starbucks.....

Blessings,
Jen

Delayed Reaction.....

Around 5:30 on New Year's Eve my little girl came in with tears in her eyes and a hand on her tummy...yep, not the sign of celebration of a new year that I was hoping for. "Mommy, I don't feel good."

So Kensey and I sent Richard and Cody on up to the Jermain's house to bring in the new year and she and I "celebrated" together.

Funny how God works though. As I was holding her hair back so that she could, um, "celebrate"....I thought about when I was little and I dreamed of having my own family, my own little girl, my own son who of course would be the oldest, so he could protect his little sister. I thought about how good God has been to me. He has blessed me even when my blessing should have passed me by. I thought about the man I married and how he loves his God, and loves his family. So blessed. I thought about how I always so desired to have the house in the country, and here I sit. I thought about how I wanted the white fence--ok, so that's my neighbors fence, but I get to enjoy it..whatever, small detail. :-)

As I stroked her back and shed a few tears with her, I felt blessed. Blessed that our family's only real health concern is a stomach virus. I just buried a friend who left behind her husband and two boys. I have another friend who watches her son like a hawk in fear of the cancer returning. Yah, it was another life lesson--to be thankful that my only concern was my baby having the stomach flu.

My mind wondered through a small movie film that only God could have put together. The memories played in my mind all evening long. I am so thankful for family and friends. I am so thankful that I have a God who rules with a firm hand and a heart full of grace.

I went to bed holding that eleven year old baby girl as tight as I did the night I brought her home for the first time. She'd had a very rough night, her body completely worn out, but as I cuddled up to her stroking her hair away from her face she whispered, "Mommy, I love you"....yep, Blessed.

Blessings,
Jen

Sicker than a Dog.....

Where did that phrase come from anyway?

The top 10 things I learned during the Edwards tummy flu....

1. Three bathrooms in our house is not enough.

2. I am by far the worst patient known to man, NOT my husband or son.

3. The aroma of a sick house is not pleasant.

4. Kensey Rae enjoyed being the only healthy one in the basement where she was able to have the wii, computer, tv, and all the snacks she so desired, because nobody could tell her no.

5. That I can still crawl....(did many times cause I could not walk to "the room")

6. That I still very much need my Mommy to hold my hair back when I throw up. (but she was at home being sick herself so I had to use a pony tail holder)

7. Lysol may be a flu killer, but it stinks.

8. Ice chips can hit the spot.

9. You can actually moan in harmony with other people.

10. Laundry is never done.

Oh! and a prayer was answered...I just kept asking God to save Kensey Rae from this, primarily because there was NOBODY who could take care of her! AND HE DID!! Praise His Name!

We survived!!

Looking for God's Handywork....

Our sunday school class was fairly deep today. We laughed a lot, but it also made me think.

When you are in the midst of a trial or in the midst of pain, it is so difficult to see God. Isn't it easy to just forget that God is part of the trials? As long as God is working "our" plan we praise Him, but the minute things go off our plan we think God forgot us or that He isn't around, but He so is!

I can't tell you how many times Richard and I have walked through the ugly....or crawled through it-only to receive countless blessings on the other side. I have also learned that God may be a little bit smarter than this ole country girl!

A few years ago I received an email from a woman who had buried her child as a result of a car accident, and in the email she told me how she learned that Blessed is His Name in the good times and the bad times. She leaned on that song through her sadness and through her journey of finding her Joy in Christ again. I still have that email. I cannot imagine the pain of losing one of my children. My heart aches and my eyes fill with tears at the very thought! I read that email from time to time, and just pray for her. She is such a witness of finding God in the storm.

Most of the time, I see God's handy work AFTER the storm when I am safe and sound again. My attitude must be that I seek God before, during, and after the storm. My prayer is that my eyes will be open to see Him.

I am so thankful for moments like this morning, when I can be reminded that God is very much at work in my life every minute--every minute. Wow, how cool is that?

The Day After.....

I won't pretend, I am disappointed.

I wanted the McCain/Palin ticket to win. I don't always totally agree with John McCain, but I am more closely aligned to his views than I am to Obama's. I am a conservative to the very thread of my being. I believe in truth and I still believe that the ideals of the conservative party are closely related to those of God's Word. (AND I LOVE SARAH PALIN!!!)

However....

I am not sure that we as a party have stood for those values like I think we once did. It has been a difficult 8 years, there is no doubt. I think President Bush has made some big mistakes, but I also think he has been put in a position that is an overwhelming situation. He has had to deal with many crisis that most Presidents in history have not dealt with. I haven't walked in his shoes...

With that being said...I am so sick of hearing, "America will now finally be a leader in the world"...or "our only hope is in Obama"...we are so spoiled as a country that we certainly hae no clue that we have it waaaaaaaaaaay better than the rest of the world. I am so tired of it being portrayed that this country is so incredibly broken. The headlines read about how the American People are broke and then right below it such and such movie has grossed 10 million plus. That is not broke!! WE need to realize that the United States is a darn good place to live and we need to start appreciating it!

Our economy is hurting right now, but is it all about our government? Didn't some of us make poor financial decisions to get us in this mess? I mean we have to take responsibility. The whole idea of pass the buck is so immature and I am sick of it. Every bad thing that has happened to you is not President Bush's fault, it is not the Republican Party's fault, it is not the government's fault. I hope those who say that Obama is Hope, finds their hope first in Jesus Christ and the Lord of Lords. To put so much "hope" in a mere human is dangerous and risky.

However...

With THAT being said...I will respect the position that Mr. Obama holds. I will continue to pray for my country. I will continue to pray that God's Grace flows upon this nation. I find Hope in the Lord, and I find Hope in knowing that He is very much on his throne.

My prayer is that giving to the needy doesn't become a government mandate, but that as Christians we find the calling to spread the love of Jesus, feed the hungry, clothe those who are in need, and show them Hope in Jesus is truly all we have.

Blessings to our Country,
Jen

The Durnin Boys...

Jill borrowed my camera so I have to share...they are so stinking cute!!!

Cody's first debate tournament!

My son woke up that morning at 5:00 to meet the bus at 6:00. He was sooooo not excited about his first debate. He was SCARED to death! Of course he says he wasn't scared, just "tired". He wasn't ever going to take "this stupid class again!" He had only learned 7 hours before that he had to "fill in" for another student for a dual debate about "nuclear energy" (what is that anyway?) with one of his best friends. I think Cody was a little less than excited about that. He had prepared for his "real" entry of Humerous Interpretation of James Bond. :) I mean where else can you mix James Bond and nuclear energy?

He took fourth (out of 40) in his interpreatation of James....and took FIRST in his debate about nuclear energy. His partner, Gabe, was the one that carried them. Cod said he was merely playing a "supportive role, cause Gabe had it under control!" WE were impressed anyway! :~)

The Three Amigos....

Kensey Rae's friends Hannah and Rhegan have been inseperable this school year. They walk daily to Hannah's house. (Where Sheryl has a snack, drink and fun planned. She is the Beaver Cleaver Mom. :~) A great escape for Kensey Rae!! HA!) They hang out until I get off work- about 30 minutes or so. They are so stinking cute together. If only we could bottle this time in their lives--it is just going too fast!

We have a driver.....

Our month started out with Cody turning 15! He now has his driving permit. I will spare you from hearing ALL of the stories, but of course I must let you in on a few.....First of all the first two days of his driving career could be wrapped up with one word...ok maybe more than one word..."WHAT ARE YOU DOING???" The first week he went 45 MPH--that would be 45 MPH frontwords, backwords, turns and all...:~) He is MUCH better now! We may survive after all. He was taking the turn onto our road at a lovely 22 mph--I wasn't ok with that--so I yelled, screamed, cried, etc....and he instantly was mad at me. "I was being a Drama Mama" Whatever. But then Kensey Rae piped in and says, "Hello, precious cargo in the backseat, please handle with care.: Probably not the thing to say....:~) However, if you meet us now it is safe, just don't honk and startle him...PLEASE!

more details to come....

but Cody received his driving permit today.....pick yourself up off the floor.....and for goodness sake stay out of his way!!

Out of the mouths of babes....

Ok, no insight here, no big revelation that God has shown me. No big lesson that I have learned the hard way....just a post of laughs!!

Last night we were getting ready for our garage sale. (yes, we decided to have a garage sale on Tuesday for this Friday and Saturday--love when we do that) Anyway, Kam and Kade wanted to come out to my house to see the new kitty. (we are the dumping ground for stray animals in these parts)

So, we went to pick up Kensey Rae from school, and head out to see Isabellla the kitty. Kam brought along a book of all of his friends from preschool. (such a great idea..pictures in a ziploc bag bound together with the three rings so it is a "book")

Well, while we were waiting for Kensey Rae- we looked at the pictures. I asked Kam, "which one is your friend?" He replied, "aunt jen jen, they are all my friends!" I said, "well, which one do you like the most--like your best buddy kind of thing?" While he was thinking Kade pipes up, "Jen Jen, I like the girls. I like to kiss the girls" He is 2 1/2. I said, "Kade, you kiss the girls?" He smiles from ear to ear (you just have to see that smile) anyway, he says, "Jen Jen, I love to kiss girls" I was cracking up.

He proceeds to show me how he kisses the girls. Of course, he has never actually kissed a girl except for his momma, nannas, and aunties and a few cousins here and there, but to hear him talk...... So it starts early, the over exaggerating of "how many girls you have kissed"...hope he doesn't take up fishing..I hear those stories get carried away too!!

So, of course I was curious. "Kam, do you like to kiss girls?" I couldn't wait to hear the answer. Kam doesn't think girls can do anything. He is basically a male chauvinist pig. (But a darn cute one!) I waited for the answer. "Jen Jen I will never kiss girls, I don't like girls, they are gross. I guess I would have to kiss a boy"
Well, I had my answer. :~) BUT, then he says.."I like Izzie's curls".....ahhhh, very reluctantly my little nephew is discovering, girls aren't quite as gross as he first thought.

Have a good one!

Blessings,
Jen

I proudly display my button...

The last few Mondays I have worn my button with Cody's football picture on it. I wear it proudly. Although, he looks so mean and tough in it, and of course I know the truth, he is a Momma's boy. Don't tell him I told you, but he cuddles with me nightly and gives me a sweet kiss when he goes to bed. (I am wondering if MU offers dorms for parents to move in with their kids???Go Tigers!) :~)

Back to the button...

I wear it with the sense of pride that every parent has for their kids. You see, my kid is an overcomer. He was diagnosed 3 1/2 years ago with Growth Hormone Deficiency. He has been one of the smallest kids in his class since he was 7 years old. When he was 11 1/2 he weighed in at 62 pounds and 4'5". He is now nearly 15 (October 1) and weighs in at 106 and 5'4". I think with his pads he hit 110...HOLY COW bring on the party! He has never let that stop his desire to do anything. He loved football too much to believe the people along the way who thought he wasn't big enough, fast enough, able to catch a pass and gain enough yards, big enough to stop the other team....whatever it was, he didn't buy it. I am so thankful that didn't buy into the lie.

He believes more in himself than some of the people he has come into contact with along his journey. He is made of steel. Love that kid. Anyway, I wear this button to shout to the world, THIS IS MY KID AND I AM SOOOOO PROUD, IN LOVE WITH, ADORE, CHERISH, BELIEVE IN, and TOTALLY LAY CLAIM TO...this is MY KID!. A couple of people have made comments about my button. It always seems to get noticed. I can't understand it with me being so shy and all. :~)

Which leads me to the point....are you wearing God's button? If you are a God lovin, Bible Readin', Church goin' Christian, you my friend are wearing the button. We must be so aware that every minute of everyday our button is being viewed by so many, some who appreciate it and admire it, and others who want to see WHY you are wearing the button. Without grace we don't deserve to wear the button, but there is no greater truth than the fact that we are worthy of wearing the button. Worthy because of what Jesus did on that cross. Put on your button friends. We have something to be in awe about...DISPLAY IT and be accountable for it!

My hope and prayer is that while God wears his button of this girl, and let me tell you God is wearing our button. He is so in love with us. He adores us and cherishes us because we are wonderfully made (Psalm 139) If he can wear my button--from the girl who has messed up more times than she cares to count, and who has been pulled out of the pit more than she cares to count, and has asked for second, third, fourth etc. chances....he will wear your button too. All you have to do is ask Him.

There were several times that I believed the lie that I wasn't worthy to wear God's button, nor was I worthy enough to ask Him to wear mine. I bought into the lie. I wish I had the mindset Cody has, but I really don't. I not only bought into the lie, but tried to sell it too. My eyes were opened a few years ago that my life has been redeemed, I am not my mistakes of the past, but those mistakes I made have also made me grow into the person I am today. God is incapable of lying. His word says that All have fallen short (Romans 6:23)..and friends, we are the ALL, but His word also says, WHILE we were stil sinners Christ died for us. He knew how we were and he still proudly displayed your button. You are worthy. Never buy into the lie that you are not worthy! EVERY drop of blood on that cross screams, YOU ARE WORTHY...NOT because of who we are, but because of who HE is! Amen and Amen.

Well, I guess I need to go polish my button!

Blessings,
Jen

Gotta love the time to think while driving....

I drove down to my sister's house tonight. Bryce has class on Tuesday nights and so it is a great time to be Aunt Jen Jen, but also to give my sister some much needed adult conversation. Jo came over tonight too, she turned 25 yesterday and might I add has grown in wisdom overnight! :~)

On the way home, Kensey Rae fell asleep which left me and the radio. I was listening to my beloved K-LOVE radio station and praising the Lord through song....granted those of you who know me well, know that my singing will only be considered praise when I enter heaven's gates. However, tonight, as the lightening was striking all around me I just relished in the power of my God. How amazing He is-how thankful that I have been forgiven--and simply put I just stand in awe of Him.

How appropriate it is to sing I will praise you in this storm as a storm rolls in. So often in my life I have cursed the storm..(both life storms and the actual send me to my basement storms) :~) I hated going through the storms of life, they can be so dark and scary. When you are in the midst of one, you feel alone, terrified, and worn out! There is no way that I would have the faith I have today if I had not weathered some of those storms. There is no way I would be able to have grown on my own the way the storm forced me to grow. I am just too lazy to do that.

I have to remind myself that storms are opportunities to relinquish my power and authority and to come under the grace and protection of my Lord. My dear friends, there is no better shelter.

So, Lord, I will praise you in the storm.....forever and always. However, if it brings thunder and lightening I might possibly be praising you in the basement with my flashlight and bottled water. Yes, I am that kind of pansy..


Blessings,
Jen

So Behind the Times.....

I am doing a little work on my blog...thanks to my darling niece whom I am sure is pulling her hair out teaching me!! :~)

Please bare with me....

The Battlefield of the Mind....

I went to an additional Bible Study last night....yes that makes two this week. I should probably find another one for tonight to go to....

Hello, my name is Jennifer and I am a sinner. (and apparently a slow learner as well) :~)

So, I am joining this Bible Study group for the first time. This group of ladies is from the Rosendale Christian Church and for the most part a group of ladies who are somewhat reserved. You can imagine their shock when I came onto the scene. Bless their hearts. I even said, "Lord, shut my mouth tonight, I haven't even read the material they are talking about, sit me down and shut me up."

This is the part that I say, "HELLO GOD DID YOU NOT HEAR ME LAST NIGHT??" :~)

I talked- big shocker I know. Why do I talk so much? Now if you can answer that question there is about 25 teachers or so that would love to be let in on the answer!

Who could not talk about this though, seriously? The Battlefield of the Mind.
Buckle your seatbelts cause I have some things to say. :)

We were discussing how in order to change your life you have to change the way you think. How do you change the way you think? You have to think God's Way. How does one think God's way? They must be filled with God..bring on the Holy Spirit. How does one receive the Holy Spirit? They must ask Jesus to be Lord and Savior of their life by believing that He died on the cross and rose again. What in addition to the Holy Spirit must we need to do? WE NEED TO READ GOD'S WORD. Period. But we also need to practice what He teaches.

We need to be filled with the Spirit and we need to know and practice God's Word.

We went on to discuss the Israelites and forgive me for my frankness, but geez louise, could they be any more negative and forgetful? As one of my fellow sisters in Christ said, "good grief they witnessed the miracles for themselves with their own eyes-they didn't read about the Red Sea parting, they watched it" I sat there agreeing, Yah, what a bunch of idiots. (See Richard is rubbing off on me)

Then it hit me. (This part I did share a little, but I was somewhat reserved cause, it was my first time and all) :)Are we not just like them? Doesn't God deliver us from troubles, answer our prayers, save our necks over and over again? And uh, don't we just forget about it as time goes on?

Don't you know someone who may have been healed from something such as cancer, heart problems, or a serious illness? I mean don't we all know someone, or maybe we are that someone. Have we not witnessed miracle after miracle and yet we are luke warm in our faith? WE doubt what God can do. Give me a break. What about when a loved one who has a heart of stone actually realize that their Jesus loves them and they completely change their life. Is that not a miracle? What about when a tornado picks up your friend's house and tears it apart and throws them yards and yards from the house, but spares their life. How could you not praise our God? The biggest miracle I have ever witnessed is the birth of my own children. My goodness, I assisted God with that miracle. (and let me tell you I paid my dues) :~)

God is all around us. He delivers us daily. We should be on fire! We should want to tell everyone about our God!!!

Like this morning, Cody was delivered. He had no idea that on the fourth time I went in to wake him up that his very life was in danger. God saved him. Did he rejoice? I will have to ask him that later...:~)

My point is that we have witnessed miracles. Maybe we didn't see the Red Sea part, but I had a friend (Tausha) who beat cancer. A cancer that had a grim diagnosis. God was bigger than that diagnosis. She wasn't suppose to have kids....and now she has two. I watched a grown man who I can honestly say that I have prayed for-for at least 15 years, come to Christ. Ask Heather and David if they believe in miracles. Ask Teri if she believes God has a purpose for her life-apparently-He picked her up out of the rubble that was once her house, and planted her firmly on the ground. Ask my siblings, our Dad found his way back to the Lord months before he passed. Ask me, if there was ever a person who lived in the pit of life, it was me. He has taken a terrified little girl and turned her into....ok, never mind, bad example..but you get what I am saying. :~)

WE have a lot to get excited about! Ya know, it has been said that a new Chrisitan should be put in a closet and locked up until their newness and excitement wears off and they are bearable to be around...well I say let them out! Goodness, pass some of that excitement around. Our God reigns! He LIVES! He is GREATER than this world! PEOPLE-IT GETS BETTER THAN THIS-PRAISE GOD!!


Why do we stay in the wilderness wondering around?

The Isaraelites didn't make good time on their journey. (they apparently weren't riding with a guy like Richard, anyway..) They stretched out a 11-14 day trip into 40 years. They were lost in their own world of negativity and apparently had forgotten what God had already done for them and had promised to do for them.

We cannot forget what God has promised us. He nailed down that promise right through the palm of Jesus' hands. He loves us more than we can imagine. He is willing and capable of doing great things. He is bigger than any disease, any problem, any storm....do you know that? I don't mean do you know it, I mean do you believe it? Believe it my dear friends. Let that sink into your hearts, and let it fill your mind!

Change your way of thinkin' cause we don't have time for stinkin' thinkin'-we just don't. The time is near and it is now. Dust yourself off, ask for a fresh dose of the Holy Spirit, read His word, and just do it. The battle is on with Satan....we win in the end no doubt....but right now, it is the Battlefield of the Mind.....

Blessings,
Jen